From Gossip to Growth

The Power of Conspiring FOR Your People

"The measure of a leader is not what they accomplish themselves, but what they inspire and equip others to achieve." ~ Unknown

What You'll Learn

• Why leadership teams unconsciously conspire against struggling employees

• The talent review process that transforms gossip into growth

• How to shift from resignation to engagement when developing people

• Specific steps to help every team member succeed

We've all sat through leadership meetings where the conversation inevitably turns to "problem employees." You know the script: someone vents about a team member's missed deadline, poor attitude, or underwhelming performance. Others chime in with frustrations.

Twenty minutes later, everyone has bonded over shared exasperation—and accomplished absolutely nothing.

This is gossip. And gossip is really just a sophisticated form of avoidance.

The Unconscious Trap

Here's the thing: we don't consciously think, "I'm going to gossip and conspire against this person." This all happens mostly unconsciously.

Our Critic—that voice in our head driven by fear—is at work. We're frustrated. We're uncomfortable with the difficult conversation we need to have. So we vent to our peers instead. Week after week, the same names come up. The same complaints get aired. Everyone nods knowingly. Nothing changes.

And here's what makes gossip so insidious: it's not just about the words we say. It's about the emotional posture we adopt. When we gather to complain about someone, we're reinforcing a mindset of judgment and resignation. Our tone, our body language, our collective energy all communicate: "This person is the problem." Even if we later have a performance conversation with them, they'll sense that underlying attitude.

You can't conspire against someone in private and then effectively coach them in person. The emotional residue lingers, and people feel it beneath your words.

Because we're conspiring against people, not for them—without even realizing it.

From Complaining to Conspiring: A Real Story

Recently, we worked with a CEO whose leadership team kept circling back to the same performance issues, meeting after meeting. The frustration was palpable. The progress was nonexistent.

This is classic Critic behavior—our Default Success Strategy playing out unconsciously in leadership meetings. The Critic protects us from discomfort by letting us bond over shared frustration instead of facing the hard work of development.

We introduced them to a different approach—one that would shift them from unconsciously conspiring against their people to intentionally conspiring for them.

The first step? Name the problem. Not complain about it—actually identify current reality with clarity and honesty. What specifically is the issue? What behaviors or results are we seeing? What impact is this having?

Once you've named it, you can start conspiring for that person instead of against them. The shift is profound: from "Why can't they get it together?" to "How can we help them succeed?"

The Talent Review That Changed Everything

Here's what we helped that CEO implement:

Schedule a dedicated talent review session with your executive team—real time blocked out, not a five-minute add-on.

Make a list of everyone on both ends of the bell curve: the high performers who are crushing it, and those who are struggling. Including the stars turned out to be critical.

Then go through the list one person at a time, in this exact order:

1. Start with strengths. What is this person genuinely good at? Where do they shine? This isn't about being nice—it's about seeing the whole person and building from a foundation of what works.

2. Identify growth opportunities. How do you want to see them develop? Be specific. "Better communication" is vague. "Asking more questions before jumping to solutions" is actionable.

3. Commit to action. What will each leader do to help this person grow? Maybe it's coaching. Maybe it's removing a barrier. Maybe it's a stretch assignment. Maybe it's having the direct conversation they've been avoiding.

Then move to the next person. Repeat.

The Three-Hour Breakthrough

Something remarkable happened in that meeting.

As the executive team started seeing strengths first, then thoughtfully conspiring for growth, the energy completely shifted. Frustration became genuine problem-solving. Resignation lifted. Leaders volunteered ideas, offered coaching, committed to specific actions.

That planned one-hour meeting? Three hours. Not because it was painful, but because they were energized by this new way of thinking about their people. They didn't want to stop.

They worked through nearly everyone on their team, creating concrete development plans for high performers and struggling employees alike. More importantly, they transformed as a leadership team—from unconsciously conspiring against people to intentionally conspiring for them.

Why This Works

This approach replaces resignation with engagement. Instead of spinning your wheels complaining, you're taking responsibility to develop your people.

It creates accountability—not just for the employee, but for the leadership team. When you commit out loud to specific actions, you're far more likely to follow through.

And it shifts your leadership culture from judgment to elevation. You start to assume people are capable of growth rather than fixed in their limitations.

Conspiring Against: "Sarah missed another deadline. She's just not detail-oriented enough. I don't know what to do with her." (Then nothing changes, week after week)

Conspiring FOR: "Sarah's creative thinking is strong, but she struggles with follow-through. I'm going to meet with her to co-create a project management system that plays to her strengths. Mike, could you mentor her on your tracking process?" (Then leaders actually help her succeed)

The Conspiring FOR Mindset

Conspiring for people doesn't mean lowering standards or avoiding hard truths. It means bringing the same energy you'd bring to solving any other business problem to the challenge of helping someone succeed.

It means asking: "If I were truly committed to this person's growth, what would I do differently?"

It means recognizing that when someone on your team is struggling, you have three choices: help them improve, move them to a role that fits their strengths better, or let them go. Gossip—even unconscious gossip—isn't one of the options.

Start Today

Here's your challenge: In your next leadership meeting, catch yourself if the conversation drifts into gossip about a team member. Recognize it's happening unconsciously—your

Critic is at work. Stop. Name the reality. Then ask: "What are we going to do to help them?"

Better yet, schedule that talent review session. Block out real time—it might take longer than you think, and that's a good thing. Make the list. Go person by person, starting with strengths, identifying growth areas, and committing to action.

Transform your leadership team from a group that unconsciously conspires against struggling employees into one that intentionally conspires for them.

Your people—all of them, even the struggling ones—deserve leaders who are committed to their growth, not just comfortable complaining about their shortcomings.

The question is: Which kind of leader will you be?

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