Safety vs Comfort: Understanding the Difference

"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." — Joseph Campbell 

What You'll Learn

• The critical distinction between psychological safety and comfort in the workplace 

• How psychological courage complements psychological safety 

• Practical steps to foster both safety and courage in your organization 

• Why transformational leaders prioritize growth over comfort The Comfort Trap 

When Tom first became CEO, his instinct was to make everyone comfortable. Team meetings were pleasant but often lacked productive disagreements. Requests were made but often in such an indirect way that no action was taken.  

"A good day for me was having my office door shut so I could 'crank out' some work," Tom recalls. "That was my happy place, where I was most comfortable. Luckily, I had some wonderful mentors who helped me realize that my tendency towards introversion wasn’t serving me well as the new CEO. One mentor told me that being a leader wasn’t always comfortable.” 

It was one of those thunderbolt moments for him: he had been confusing comfort with safety. 

“They helped me appreciate that my #1 job was to lead, manage, and coach the potential and greatness out of my team. And this greatness often comes from stepping outside our comfort zones.” 

Safety Is Not Comfort 

Psychological safety and comfort are commonly confused, yet fundamentally different concepts. Comfort is the absence of challenge or tension—a state where we remain firmly within our habitual behaviors and established patterns. Safety, by contrast, is the foundation that enables risk-taking, vulnerability, and growth. 

Amy Edmondson, who popularized the concept of psychological safety, defines it as "a belief that one will not be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes." Notice that nowhere in this definition does it suggest the absence of discomfort. 

In fact, true growth almost always requires discomfort. 

Think about the last time you learned something that fundamentally changed you. Was it comfortable? Likely not. Learning often involves confusion, struggle, and the vulnerability of not knowing. Yet these uncomfortable states are precisely what lead to breakthrough insights and transformation. 

The Missing Piece: Psychological Courage 

While much has been written about psychological safety, less attention has been paid to its essential counterpart: psychological courage. 

Psychological safety is what leaders and organizations provide—an environment where speaking up is valued and mistakes are treated as learning opportunities. But psychological courage is what individuals bring to the table—the willingness to step into discomfort for the sake of growth and purpose. 

Too often, team members wait passively for others to "make it safe" for them, misinterpreting momentary discomfort as evidence of danger. This mindset places all responsibility externally rather than recognizing our own agency in choosing courage. 

With over 30 years of executive coaching experience, Brad often tells clients: "Growth and development always require that we operate outside our comfort zone... if we are to grow, we must be motivated by something more compelling than our commitment to comfort." 

The Fear-Comfort Connection 

Our brains are wired to equate comfort with safety—a biological imperative that once served our ancestors well. When we step outside our comfort zone, our amygdala triggers a fear response as if we're facing a physical threat. 

But in today's workplace, the "dangers" we face are rarely existential. They're social risks: appearing incompetent, being rejected, losing status, or facing criticism. Our brain doesn't readily distinguish between physical and social threats, so it reacts similarly to both. 

Transformational leaders understand this distinction and help their teams recognize when they're conflating discomfort with actual danger. They create cultures where people can distinguish between: 

1. Productive discomfort: The natural tension that accompanies growth, innovation, and honest feedback 

2. Genuine psychological danger: Environments where people are belittled, blamed, or punished for speaking up 

From Retribution to Psychological Safety 

Moving from a fear-based culture to one of psychological safety requires transforming several key mindsets: 

1. Retribution is replaced by psychological safety: People feel free to express themselves without fear of punishment or social rejection. 

2. Blame is replaced by personal responsibility: Instead of asking "Who is to blame?", the question becomes "How am I responsible for fixing or changing this?" 

3. Drama is replaced by radical acceptance: Rather than complaining about conditions, we embrace them so we can figure out how to respond productively. 

This shift doesn't happen by accident. It requires conscious leadership that consistently reinforces these new mindsets through both words and actions. 

Practical Applications: Creating Safety While Encouraging Courage 

To foster both psychological safety and psychological courage in your organization: 

For Leaders: 

1. Model vulnerability: Share your own mistakes and what you learned from them. 

2. Respond productively to bad news: How you react when someone brings problems to your attention sets the tone for your entire culture. 

3. Distinguish between person and performance: Make it clear that feedback addresses behaviors, not character. 

4. Recognize courage: Publicly acknowledge those who speak up, especially when it's difficult. 

5. Create structured opportunities for input: Use frameworks that invite participation from everyone, not just the boldest voices. 

For Individuals: 

1. Recognize that discomfort isn't danger: Learn to identify when you're avoiding something due to simple discomfort rather than legitimate risk. 

2. Connect to purpose: Ask yourself what matters more than your comfort in this situation. 

3. Start small: Build your courage muscles gradually through increasingly challenging conversations. 

4. Seek feedback on impact, not intent: Be curious about how your actions affect others, regardless of your intentions. 

5. Practice "micro-courage": Look for small daily opportunities to practice speaking up. 

Measure What Matters 

How do you know if you're creating true psychological safety rather than just comfort? Look for these indicators: 

1. Healthy disagreement: Teams with psychological safety have productive conflicts about ideas. 

2. Error reporting: People voluntarily report mistakes to prevent future issues. 

3. Questions and challenges: Team members regularly ask questions and challenge assumptions. 

4. Cross-hierarchical communication: Information flows freely up and down the organization. 

5. Innovation metrics: New ideas emerge regularly and are developed into solutions. 

The Transformational Choice 

The question for transformational leaders isn't whether to choose safety or comfort. It's how to create an environment where people feel safe enough to be uncomfortable—to stretch, learn, and grow beyond their current capabilities. 

As a leader, you face this choice daily: Will you prioritize temporary comfort, or will you create the psychological safety that enables the productive discomfort necessary for growth? 

Remember, transformation happens at the edge of your comfort zone, never within it. By understanding the distinction between safety and comfort, and by cultivating both psychological safety and psychological courage, you can create a culture where people thrive, innovation flourishes, and exceptional results become the norm. 

Real leadership isn't about making people comfortable—it's about making it safe for them to become uncomfortable in service of something greater than themselves. 

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