You Don't TRUST Me?!

Breaking Down Trust Issues into Actionable Components

Addressing trust issues doesn't require character transformation—it requires specific behavioral changes targeted at the right component. By breaking trust into distinct elements, you transform the conversation from "I don't trust you" to "Here's specifically what we need to work on together."

"Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships." — Stephen R. Covey

What You'll Learn

Have you ever had someone tell you they don't trust you? Or perhaps you've thought about telling someone you don't trust them? Either way, it's one of the most difficult conversations we can have in the workplace. The word "trust" immediately triggers defensiveness because it feels like an attack on our character.

Recently, in a group coaching session with a client, this exact issue surfaced. There was a "lack of trust" within the team. Rather than diving into this emotionally charged topic head-on, we offered them a different approach by breaking trust into four distinct components. This allowed us to get to the root cause of their trust issues and address them specifically.

Breaking Down Trust Into Components

In his book "The Speed of Trust," Stephen Covey broke trust down into three major categories. We've adapted his framework (with slightly different language) and added a fourth component that's often overlooked:

1. Intent Trust

Do I believe you mean well? Do I trust that your intentions align with mine and that we're serving the same mission or purpose?

When intent trust is low, people question each other's motives and suspect hidden agendas. When it's high, team members believe everyone is genuinely working toward shared goals.

2. Integrity Trust

Do I trust that you will do what you say you're going to do? Will you follow through on what you have promised or committed to do?

Low integrity trust manifests as missed deadlines, forgotten commitments, and a general sense that words don't translate to actions. High integrity trust means reliable follow-through that makes coordination easier.

3. Competence Trust

Do I trust that you have the skills and abilities to perform your job effectively? This addresses whether someone has what it takes to "pull their weight."

When competence trust is low, people micromanage or take over tasks rather than delegating. When it's high, team members confidently rely on each other's expertise.

4. Psychological Safety

Do I trust that I'm safe with you—that you won't abuse, demean, discredit, or harm me in some way? Simply put, psychological safety is the absence of fear of retribution.

Retribution can take many forms: fear of physical harm, career damage, or most commonly, social retribution—fear of being disliked, talked about negatively, or ostracized.

Diagnosing Your Team's Trust Issues

With our client, we conducted a quick assessment, having team members rate each trust component on a scale of 1-5 (1 being very low trust, 5 being very high trust). The results were revealing:

• Intent Trust: Quite high (avg. 4.2)

• Competence Trust: Also high (avg. 4.0)

• Integrity Trust: Significantly lower (avg. 3.2)

• Psychological Safety: Lowest of all (avg. 2.2)

This simple poll helped everyone see the root cause of their issues. Team members weren't questioning each other's intentions or abilities—they were concerned about reliability and, most significantly, didn't feel safe speaking up.

Uncovering Specific Fears

Once we identified psychological safety as the primary concern, we asked team members what they felt unsafe about—what they feared would happen when speaking up about difficult subjects. Their responses included:

• "I'm afraid I'll hit a landmine—an issue between others or from the past."

• "I'm afraid people won't keep confidence and will gossip about our discussion."

• "I'm afraid I'll be disrespected."

• "I'm afraid I might get fired."

• "I'm afraid I'll be blamed for the issue at hand."

These fears are common in many teams but rarely discussed openly. By naming them specifically, the team could begin addressing them directly.

A Simple Trust Assessment

To help you diagnose trust issues on your own team, here's a streamlined version of the assessment we used:

Rate each statement on a scale of 1-5 (1 = Strongly Disagree, 5 = Strongly Agree):

Intent Trust

• Team members believe colleagues are genuinely committed to the team's success.

• When decisions are made, people trust their needs were considered.

Integrity Trust

• Team members consistently follow through on commitments.

• When someone can't meet a deadline, they communicate proactively.

Competence Trust

• Team members have the necessary skills to perform their roles effectively.

• Work produced consistently meets quality standards.

Psychological Safety

• People feel safe expressing dissenting views without fear of negative consequences.

• Mistakes are treated as learning opportunities rather than failures.

Calculate the average for each component. The lowest-scoring area indicates where to focus your trust-building efforts first.

Next Steps: Rebuilding Trust

Once you've identified which trust component needs the most attention, you can take targeted action:

For Intent Trust issues:

• Clarify team purpose and how individual roles contribute

• Create opportunities for personal connection outside work contexts

• Practice intention-sharing at the start of important discussions

For Integrity Trust issues:

• Implement clear agreements with specific deliverables and timelines

• Create accountability systems that are supportive rather than punitive

• Celebrate follow-through to reinforce its importance

For Competence Trust issues:

• Provide targeted training for skill gaps

• Ensure role clarity and appropriate delegation

• Create mentoring relationships to build capabilities

For Psychological Safety issues:

• Establish and enforce conversation norms that ensure all voices are heard

• Model vulnerability by acknowledging your own mistakes

• Address unhealthy behavior immediately and consistently

The Team's Journey

For our client team, once they identified psychological safety as their primary trust issue, they began implementing specific practices to address it. The leadership committed to:

1. Creating explicit discussion norms that prohibited blame and encouraged curiosity

2. Modeling vulnerability by acknowledging their own fears and mistakes

3. Consistently addressing any instances of disrespect or gossip

4. Creating structured opportunities for all voices to be heard in meetings

Within three months, their psychological safety score increased from 2.0 to 3.7—not perfect, but a substantial improvement that unlocked more productive conversations across all other trust components.

Your Next Step

Try conducting this simple assessment with your team (or just reflect on it yourself if you're addressing a specific relationship). Which trust component seems to be causing the most friction?

Remember that addressing trust issues doesn't require character transformation—it requires specific behavioral changes targeted at the right component. By breaking trust into these four distinct elements, you transform the conversation from "I don't trust you" to "Here's specifically what we need to work on together."

Trust is the foundation upon which all organizational relationships are built. By taking a more nuanced approach to trust discussions, you can rebuild that foundation brick by brick, rather than trying to fix everything at once.

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